Oops... Not Daddy!

Have you ever had that moment where you swore the person next to you was your parent, sibling, spouse, or friend and at the very moment you leaned in to hug them, lean on them, or strike up a conversation with them you realized it wasn't them? Oops, hello total stranger looking at me like I am a lunatic. And, of course, there is always someone who does know you right near by who got to witness the whole embarrassing moment and will, much to your chagrin, never, ever, what-so-ever let you live it down. I've been the one embarrassed and, much to my friend Julia's dismay, been the joyful observer who was only to happy to enjoy the topic over and over again, year after blessed year (imagine a delightful sigh right here).

Well, Cameron had one of those moments a couple of weeks ago which meant, by motherly proximity, I had it too. Chris was playing in a volleyball match while Cam and I wandered around. Actually, Cam wandered, I followed. This went on for near an hour when the clock started to near dinner time and that much closer to bed time. By definition that meant that the little one was getting cranky and was tired of Mom following him around instead of feeding him and putting him to bed. In the hopes that Dad would do what Mom was obviously failing at, Cameron headed in the direction of Chris' match. Standing next to the bleachers there was a man. Cameron, being one and only (and very literally) knee high, saw a pair of tall legs. Daddy had tall legs and Daddy was in the room somewhere so, naturally, this was Daddy. In the moment I realized what was about to happen, Cameron grabbed the man around the shins and buried his head just below the man's knee caps. A delighted hum of "oohs" and "awes" filled the air as women in the bleachers watched.

Here is where the story gets interesting. The man whose legs Cameron took to be Daddy's legs belonged to a dark skinned African American man who was minding his own business while checking a text on his cell phone. The women in the stand saw the following: a black "Dad," a white "Mom," and a mixed race child. At least that is what everyone who sees Cameron thinks, that he is mixed race while in fact he is full African American. Nobody believes this, of course, because he is fair skinned with blond hair and blue eyes. But, according to all the legal paperwork we were given before, during, and after the adoption, his birth parents were and are both African Americans. That is not what people see though. They see Cameron with me and naturally assume that his Dad is a black skinned man. Or, they see Cameron with Chris and assume that Mom is a black skinned woman. Only natural, I assume, given his mixed race characteristics. It truly makes for some great conversations with people. This particular night being one of the best. For you see, the women in the stands thought they were seeing a family having an adorable bonding moment. Then I went and said something that shocked them. I simply said, "Cameron, that isn't Daddy."

The squeals of laughter and embarrassment by the women and the man was infectious. Once my brain caught up to what was going on I had to laugh too. I mean, it looked like a right assumption. The blushing man backed away and disappeared. I never saw where he went to as one of the women engaged me in conversation about Cameron. She, like many before her, asked if Cameron was "mixed." When I tell people he is full African American they all think the same thing... I must mean that Dad is full African American because Cameron is so fair. This time was no different. It was then asked of me which of the volleyball players was my Husband. I pointed Chris out and saw, to my misinterpretation, looks of confusion. I thought the women couldn't tell who I had pointed at. So, I pointed again this time drawing attention to the number on the back of his team shirt. The look on the women's faces was pure shock and confusion. That is when I realized what they were thinking. They, as already explained, assumed Chris was going to be a black skinned man. What they saw was a white skinned man. How could this be Cameron's Dad?

The rest of the evening, after a brief explanation, was about adoption. The women and a few other curious bystanders wanted to know all about the adoption process, how we came to the decision to move forward, what it was like to be instant-parents, and such. The best way I knew how to sum everything up was to say that we trusted in God's plan. In the end, we were blessed to become the parents of a wonderful little boy who fills our lives with joy every day. Even after a year together it is still like a dream. I am amazed often at the very realness of it all. We have a son and that feels like a daily miracle.

I'm sure as the years go by there will be more conversations like this one. As Cameron gets older I wonder if the assumptions will change. We are a family and whether white, black, red, yellow or purple with green polka dots, that is all that matters. Life is about learning and I am so thankful that I get to experience the everyday lessons of life with my Husband and Son.