As I reflect on the past year, I see so many changes, firsts, and miracles. There were downs, of course, but the up's gave off a light that obliterated any shadow. Just one more thing to be thankful for. It has been some time since my last entry. The holidays brought with them a very busy schedule that had us running. With New Years Day just around the corner I feel a rest coming on. Not the rest of old mind you, not with a mobile infant in the house, but rather something new that I've never known before. I'm a new kind of tired but wake up each day renewed in spirit. Cameron is our son and our lives have never been better!The adoption is final (insert all manner of cheering here). Though we never truly feared that he could be taken from us, just the fact that we shared him legally with someone else always kept that thought in the back of our minds. As of November 20th Cameron's file was sealed and he now has our last name. The paragraph in the paperwork explaining all of this always chokes me up (he is hereby the son of....). He may not be our biological child but Cameron is ours. How could we feel any closer to him? How could we possibly love him more? OUR SON!
Cameron is ten months old now... WOW! He has four teeth, has started crawling, loves to walk (with help), has discovered the art of tantrum throwing but is just as quickly learning boundaries. Cameron had his first high fever, a result of traveling, teething, and a lack of sleep due to the excitement of visiting family. With this he ate no more than his required bottle and even turned away his beloved Mum Mum Cookie. Though I have worked in the childcare field for most of my working years, when it came to a child's illness I always sent them home to their parents to get better. Caring for a sick baby is new territory for me and, admittedly, I cried. That admission has brought me many congratulatory remarks from other moms. "Welcome to motherhood," they have all cheered.
I still have a lot to learn. For instance, I was very excited about celebrating Cameron's first Christmas. The morning arrived and with it came the anticipation of watching him play in the paper and smiling with wonder at the new things around him. What was I thinking? He isn't even a year old yet. What we got was a grumpy baby who was ready for his mid-morning nap, several smile-less photos, and a general lack of any interest in what was under the tree. Instead, Cameron took a nap while four adults opened the baby gifts. Re-energized smiles returned by evening, just in time for the traditional family photo in the leftover wrappings.
So often reality is far different than what my mind tends to conger up. My imagination can be a wee bit too active. I'm not complaining though. The reality that God has blessed me with has me more thankful that I can express. 2009 has been an amazing year! All I can do is stay focused on the gifts in front of me and leave tomorrow up to the One who gave me such an amazing here and now. Besides, I have enough to keep me busy this moment without worrying or daydreaming about what will be. For example...
The house needs some baby-proofing. Who sells the outlet covers I've heard about? Which table foods will give the little one a rash? Why is it always their head that gets the first bump or bruise (the new compresses went into the freezer last night)? Why do they insist on eating the most microscopic piece of anything they find on the floor? It's true that when things are too quiet the child is up to something they shouldn't be. Who taught them how to have an attitude? Developing the "Mommy Face and Tone" really works wonders. Running errands requires a whole lot more prep time, we never get anywhere fast. What am I supposed to do during the first public meltdown? He didn't come with an instruction manual but I think we are figuring things out.
And that is just to name a few. WHEW!
