Happy Anniversary!

As Chris and I faced year after year of unexplained infertility, life took on a sort of routine. We worked, traveled, and saved for rainy days but always in the back of our minds were the "what if" questions. You know, things like... what if we had a child running around the house right now... what if we need to not buy such and such because my body will finally kick in, we'll get pregnant and need the money for that... what if a birth parent picks us today and we become instant parents.... etc. This was our existence for six years. We played our respective parts and got quite good at "not" talking about the ever present elephant in the room. Instead, that elephant became a very unwelcome friend, the kind you can tolerate but would be much happier without. This was our life. Some days we were really good at pretending that everything was normal. Other days, not so much. But what more could we do? We hoped all of our hopes. Prayed all of our prayers. Basically sucked the faith right out of all our faith. When this routine became so constant that we thought it might never change, that is when it changed. Oh Heavenly Days!!!

We met and brought home our son Cameron on Tuesday, March 17, 2009. This past Wednesday, we celebrated our one year anniversary... Cam Day! Has it really been a year already? I realize and fully accept that as we get older time seems to go by very fast but this was some kind of Star Trek, warp speed kind of fast. WOW! Still, here Chris and I are and we stand just as amazed by this little miracle as we did on that very first day.

When it all began, we were clueless. Shocked really that the agency let a couple of non-experienced dreamers walk out the door with a three week old baby. One year later, we are still a bit clueless but we are learning. Cameron seems to be doing just fine which I take as a good sign. In fact, he has actually made this parenting thing much easier than we thought possible. He has seamlessly moved from one phase to the next with little help from us. His first tooth came without any fanfare. We noticed it one night as we got him ready for bed. One day he simply didn't need all the pillow props around him as he sat because he decided not to tip over anymore. The crawling... okay, that came with a little drama. The day after Christmas Cameron had his first full out tantrum. Forty-five minutes later, he was pulling himself up to a sitting position and crawling. That was all he needed to move on to the next chapter in his development. As for walking, he took the lead on that too. One day he decided that sitting on laps was no longer enough so he slid down to the floor, grabbed our hands, and led us around the house as if he had planned it that way all along. In the past week this walking phase has gone from needed support to all out independence. Cameron is a year old and already I'm becoming obsolete. Ha ha, just kidding. Even the most independent person needs someone to snuggle with. Chris and I are more than happy to play that role consistently.

Several times on Wednesday, Chris and I just sat back and watched as our son played, talked, walked, drank from a sippy cup and eventually snoozed in his bed. He is still so small and yet when we hold him in our arms there is definite change. If it were not for photographic evidence I don't think we would believe he was once so small. We see newborns around town and are certain that Cameron came into the world exactly as we see him today. What is even scarier is how much he will change this coming year. Last Monday Cameron and I went to watch Chris play work league volleyball. A little two year old girl, there with her grandmother, took an interest in Cameron and hung around with us for a bit. I kept looking from her to my son, amazed at the difference in appearance. There was nothing "baby" about this little girl. She looked like a two year old. In all the things Chris and I will gain this year as our son grows into a two year old himself, we are going to lose that "baby" part of him. I am both excited and completely saddened by this fact.

For six years we lived in a middle world of grays and uncertainties. For the past year, and with every new day, we live in a sunlit world of colors and musical sounds. What we once had was very good, but what we have now is enchanting. Every day feels like a new opportunity to watch life change, grow, and develop. It is a most amazing sight to behold. Cameron needs us and, even more, we need him. I cannot explain God's ways or why things happen the way they do, but I do know that this miracle was worth the wait.

Happy Anniversary little man! Daddy and I love you more than words can express. Lord, guard and protect him and help us to be the best parents we can be. Thank you for this most blessed opportunity!

Snow Storms and Birthdays and Checkups, Oh My!

I knew that the month of February was going to be busy but I didn't expect it to be so full that the month would literally disappear in the blink of an eye.

Weekend #1: A huge snow storm hit the northeast coast of the United States, shattering records and shutting down Washington DC. It started off pretty enough, or so was our opinion as we watched from the comfort and warmth of our home. As time passed, however, the weight of the snow began to affect the trees and bushes until, in the wee hours of the morning, debris not only took down power lines but all electricity with it. The house was eerily silent as the morning wore on. We took food from the fridge, put it in coolers, and set them outside because the temperature was far better out there than what remained in our fridge. Joy returned momentarily as power blinked back on around lunch time. I've never been so thankful for the dutiful hum of appliances and light fixtures. But alas, my hopes of sleeping in my own bed that night were dashed when the power went out for good just before the sun set. Feeling fully disgruntled and acting much like a spoiled child, I reluctantly joined my son, husband, and bird in the car so that we could make camp at a local hotel. All I can say about the place of our rest was that it had a ceiling, walls, and a mostly intact door. Cameron's socks grew darker the more he crawled on the floor. Paz developed an attitude that matched if not exceeded mine, and though we had cable (a luxury we have passed on for the the past couple of years), we ended up watching a movie we have on DVD at home and had seen enough times to be able to quote. I regret my mood during that time as it all should have been taken in stride with a feeling of adventure. I am thankful though for all the men and women who worked long, cold hours so that power was restored and we could fully enjoy the comforts of our home once again. Ah, home sweet home!

Weekend #2: It was time for Cameron's one year old photos. We needed to have these completed just before his actual birthday in order to fulfill one of our adoption obligations. For the first three post placement visits, it is required of the newly formed family to provide letters and photos for the birth family's file. This is usually followed up by some extra letters and photos, mostly because of all the exciting milestones that the adoptive parents want to share. At least that is how I was. Cameron's birth mom chose life and through that decision we have an amazing little boy. I wanted to make sure that, if she decided to look through the file, there would be a pretty good account of Cameron's first year. I am proud of this child and wanted his birth family to know that he is loved and cared for beyond measure. Beyond that first year, though, it is only required that the adoptive family provide a letter and professional photos at the time of a birthday. Being as this was his first, I made extra sure that the rules were followed to the letter. So, a week before the big day, Chris and I kept our appointment with a local photo studio, provided two outfits, and did our best to help the photographer get the best smiles possible out of our son. Cameron was amazing and we ended up with many pictures to choose from. Chris and I had to give one another kudos for not getting irritated at each other as we narrowed the choices down to the final selection. As with all the firsts for Cameron this past year, this experience was really for the grown ups and, truthfully, we had a great time. I am so thankful for these opportunities!

Weekend #3: The big "first birthday" arrived on a Friday. It actually turned out to be a pretty boring day as birthdays go. Cameron was quiet and tired. Turns out that he was cutting his first upper tooth. Chris, his folks, sister, and I spent a good portion of the day shopping, cooking, decorating and preparing for the party planned for Saturday. I was a stressed out mess. Big gatherings and quiet homebodies does not a calm person make. Thankfully Chris has the gift of gab, his folks host get-togethers all the time, and his sister, well, she was great company and made me laugh. Part of my nervousness came from the fact that a book I read said that the first birthday should not have a lot of people or decorations as these things tend to make a child feel overwhelmed. We broke both those rules and I was terrified that Cameron would be miserable the whole time thus making everyone else miserable. The end result? The best party EVER! Well, from this nervous nelly's stand point anyway. Cameron acted like a social pro and made sure to visit with everyone, never getting upset once. The guests had such a good time that they ended up staying well past the 2:30 end time. The food was beyond tasty and the atmosphere was calm. It could not have gone any better. Why was I so worried? Still, SO glad we have a whole year until the next one. WHEW!

Weekend #4: Actually, the final big event for the month of February happened the Monday before the last weekend... the dreaded twelve month checkup. For some strange reason, when I set the appointment three months ago, I signed up for a 10am slot. That is when Cameron goes down for a mid morning nap. Not exactly a good start for a child about to get shots. But, true to form, he did great. He wouldn't leave my lap but allowed his pediatrician to do all that needed to be done to complete the checkup. We received lots of advice about baby proofing our house and for encouraging language development (no pointing with a grunt allowed). After a slew of compliments from the Doc about how adorable Cameron was, we were off to the shot room. Eleanora is this sweet older gal who has obviously done the whole immunizing little children thing for a long time. She has a firm, quick hand. Cameron cried, so would I after three shots, but recovered quickly. However, he wouldn't let me lay him back on the evil table in order to put his pants back on. I am learning that Moms have to perform all sorts of daring feats with their children in the most creative and precarious situations. Getting fully dressed and saying goodbye to Eleanor was not the end, next came blood work at the lab. I was under the impression, wrong I soon found out, that Cameron would just have to have his finger pricked. I realized quickly how misled I was when the new nurse pulled out a tube and started looking for a good vein in my son's arm. Again, Cameron did pretty good when the needle went in, it only got difficult when that darned ole vein wouldn't hold still and the nurse had to keep moving the needle underneath his skin. I am happy to report that, after a dose of infant Tylenol and two good naps, Cameron had zero side effects thus leading us to the final weekend. What did we do? Absolutely nothing! There was no place we had to be, nobody we had to see, and we certainly had no money left to spend. So, weekend #4 turned out to be the most quiet part of February. We had survived and were reaping the rewards at last.

March.... we are so glad you are offering up a pretty quiet schedule thus far. Should I be knocking on wood, stroking a lucky rabbits foot, or some other such nonsense? Just remember, uneventful is the key this month!