Happy Anniversary!

As Chris and I faced year after year of unexplained infertility, life took on a sort of routine. We worked, traveled, and saved for rainy days but always in the back of our minds were the "what if" questions. You know, things like... what if we had a child running around the house right now... what if we need to not buy such and such because my body will finally kick in, we'll get pregnant and need the money for that... what if a birth parent picks us today and we become instant parents.... etc. This was our existence for six years. We played our respective parts and got quite good at "not" talking about the ever present elephant in the room. Instead, that elephant became a very unwelcome friend, the kind you can tolerate but would be much happier without. This was our life. Some days we were really good at pretending that everything was normal. Other days, not so much. But what more could we do? We hoped all of our hopes. Prayed all of our prayers. Basically sucked the faith right out of all our faith. When this routine became so constant that we thought it might never change, that is when it changed. Oh Heavenly Days!!!

We met and brought home our son Cameron on Tuesday, March 17, 2009. This past Wednesday, we celebrated our one year anniversary... Cam Day! Has it really been a year already? I realize and fully accept that as we get older time seems to go by very fast but this was some kind of Star Trek, warp speed kind of fast. WOW! Still, here Chris and I are and we stand just as amazed by this little miracle as we did on that very first day.

When it all began, we were clueless. Shocked really that the agency let a couple of non-experienced dreamers walk out the door with a three week old baby. One year later, we are still a bit clueless but we are learning. Cameron seems to be doing just fine which I take as a good sign. In fact, he has actually made this parenting thing much easier than we thought possible. He has seamlessly moved from one phase to the next with little help from us. His first tooth came without any fanfare. We noticed it one night as we got him ready for bed. One day he simply didn't need all the pillow props around him as he sat because he decided not to tip over anymore. The crawling... okay, that came with a little drama. The day after Christmas Cameron had his first full out tantrum. Forty-five minutes later, he was pulling himself up to a sitting position and crawling. That was all he needed to move on to the next chapter in his development. As for walking, he took the lead on that too. One day he decided that sitting on laps was no longer enough so he slid down to the floor, grabbed our hands, and led us around the house as if he had planned it that way all along. In the past week this walking phase has gone from needed support to all out independence. Cameron is a year old and already I'm becoming obsolete. Ha ha, just kidding. Even the most independent person needs someone to snuggle with. Chris and I are more than happy to play that role consistently.

Several times on Wednesday, Chris and I just sat back and watched as our son played, talked, walked, drank from a sippy cup and eventually snoozed in his bed. He is still so small and yet when we hold him in our arms there is definite change. If it were not for photographic evidence I don't think we would believe he was once so small. We see newborns around town and are certain that Cameron came into the world exactly as we see him today. What is even scarier is how much he will change this coming year. Last Monday Cameron and I went to watch Chris play work league volleyball. A little two year old girl, there with her grandmother, took an interest in Cameron and hung around with us for a bit. I kept looking from her to my son, amazed at the difference in appearance. There was nothing "baby" about this little girl. She looked like a two year old. In all the things Chris and I will gain this year as our son grows into a two year old himself, we are going to lose that "baby" part of him. I am both excited and completely saddened by this fact.

For six years we lived in a middle world of grays and uncertainties. For the past year, and with every new day, we live in a sunlit world of colors and musical sounds. What we once had was very good, but what we have now is enchanting. Every day feels like a new opportunity to watch life change, grow, and develop. It is a most amazing sight to behold. Cameron needs us and, even more, we need him. I cannot explain God's ways or why things happen the way they do, but I do know that this miracle was worth the wait.

Happy Anniversary little man! Daddy and I love you more than words can express. Lord, guard and protect him and help us to be the best parents we can be. Thank you for this most blessed opportunity!