Snow Angel

All throughout childhood we plan our adulthood. We think about getting older, being able to drink alcohol legally, voting in a major election, where we'll go to college, the places we'll visit, the adventures we'll have, the age we'll be when we marry, the number of children we'll have... heck, we even have names picked out long before procreation is even remotely possible. Our youth is spent planning for the future. The popular question asked of all kids is, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" See my point?

Then there is my Grandma M. She mentioned not too long ago that she doesn't feel any different than when she was twenty. It is only when she looks in the mirror that she realizes that the packaging has changed and wonders when in the world that happened. In four and a half years I will be forty. That number freaks me out because it sounds so "old." How did I get to be that age? Just like Grandma, I don't feel any older and yet there are all these markers that say I am aging.

When I was in High School, the big accomplishment in the social scene was if a girl dated an Air Force Cadet. There these young men of military stature were in their blue uniforms looking mighty mature and adultish. A girl was really something special if she had a Cadet as a boyfriend. So what happened to my eyes? When did Cadets start looking like babies?

It seems like only yesterday that I was the teenager wearing the latest trends and paving the way in modern lingo. I don't understand the majority of today's teenage slang and (GULP) I haven't a clue as to how what they listen to even counts as music. YIKES... I'm a grown up!

I look in the fashion magazines in an attempt to try and have at least one modern outfit that doesn't reveal my 80's upbringing. The twenty year old model in the magazine makes every item of clothing look so good. How disappointed I am when I try on that same figure flattering top and curve hugging jeans only to see that one gaps here, the other pulls there and the hanger makes a better model than I do. That wasn't always so... and I'm still in relatively good physical shape. When did things start to change?

Perhaps who we really are is not what people see on the outside. The body is just the shell to the true "nut" inside (so to speak). It is forever changing while we, really, aren't. Not to say that there isn't learning, growing, and maturing going on... but the eternal teenager is still there. Our true youth hasn't changed any. We have to be the proof.

For the first time in a few years, a significant snow finally hit our town. Not this dusty, wimpy stuff that sends everyone in a panic and then melts away at suns first light. No, this was actually enough to bury the feet and land-lock the cars in the driveway. Still not the true snow of my childhood (I promise, no jokes about blizzards and walking up hills) but significant for this area. It is because of this latest snow that I know we are still kid's at heart.

With boots laced, coats zipped and gloves appropriately in place, my Husband and I headed out into the wintery scene to un-bury the cars. We did the responsible grown-up stuff like scraping off the ice, sprinkling salt onto the sidewalks, and even carefully stepping through ice patches so as not to fall and mame ourselves. It wasn't long, however, until our inner child came out to play. We threw, flung, and all together dumped snow at and onto one another resulting in wet gloves, wet clothes and snow coming to rest inside all manor of nooks and crannies. If you look out our front door right now, you will see what appears to be an angel in the middle of the yard taking a siesta. A true heavenly body? No, my Husband's youth displaying itself for all the neighbors to see. Ice patches? Gotta keep a few around for the run and slide. Extra points for going long distances in style and managing not to wipe out.

I may not be able to stop the outside of me from changing (at least not without a few bucks in the wallet and a good doctor on hand). But I hope I don't ever lose that inner youngster. There will be days when the absence of children in our home is overpowering, causing me to feel emotions that are too easy to dwell on. I hope, in those moment especially, that I stop being so grown up and act like the person I really am... young at heart and ready to play!